sometimes i wonder if i am just not strong enough. if my desire to save people is simply a dream a nothing that can ever be a reality. i'm afraid to be poor....i'm afraid of what i would see, if i could handle it, if it will be possible for me to deal with it. i want nothing more than to devote my life to relief work, and quite honestly i just don't think i am strong enough.

death, disease, famine, pain, ultimate hunger, soul eating despair, war, fear

but then there is always the hope. hope that life will get better, that life will become ok again. and truly, maybe that will be enough to satisfy my fears. but who knows...

i still could always sell out to the business world and make a mint............