i have recently found myself facinated with a certain type of individual, and as i meet more and more of them i am drawn closer. its hard to explain the type, but really its the kind of person who just knows what to say and when to say it. furthermore they are extraordinary because additionally they have done amazing things in their lives, huge things, larger than life things. and perhaps this new fascination is driven purely by my need to meet new and fantastic people, the kinds that you can have conversations with for hours. tonight was one of those nights, and i need more of them. i miss my late night musings with my friends, followed by sunrise. now these friends are spread all around the world, and most of them i don't even see that often. i call them my A.D.D. best friends, thanks to one of these certain people who named them such, and having them is rather miraculous.

and its important to have these kinds around, because there is no fear of commitment and no fear of upsetting them, because if anything they are your friends you can philosophize and drink wine with once a year even...and at times i feel closer to some of them than anyone else. of course not exclusively, but nonetheless.....

i can't wait for kerstin to come home from germany, i miss her.

seperate note....i am ACTUALLY learning how to stand on my own two feet finally. the air seems clearer and cooler (maybe that is the new A.C. unit though) and my thoughts don't get so muddled anymore. i know what i want and what i need, and for once i think i am ACTUALLY going after what i think i should be, and that is inner peace.

sleeping soundly again, after so long, is a brilliant change.