oddly content

as i sit here realizing that everything isn't as big and unconquerable as i think it all to be i slowing come to the sense that my life is much smaller than i think it is. there is nothing particularly special about me and i may not do great things like win nobel peace prizes or get a phd in ethics. but in the scheme of things knowing that my life is much smaller than i think it is, is oddly comforting. when i breathe in and out the world is NOT going to crumble--knowing this makes everything seem so much more simple than it did yesterday.

now to most people this realization would seem depressing and subtly unsettling. yet this is not the case when i think about my life this way. although i think to myself 'shit, i really thought i had to make a difference in the world' i am happy to know that maybe i don't have to, maybe just existing and surviving life is a big enough task. perhaps i will do something great. who knows. but i don't have to. i never have to.

as for the involvements in my life, perhaps i can simplify it all simply by remembering to breathe. i forget to do that from time to time.

back to the world of the hermeneutic circle. thinking about thought is not an easy chore mind you, especially when it is thinking about thinking for ten pages. in all honesty, its a shame that i can't write papers as quickly as i can well...blog or im. dirty shame.